16th Birthday

I could blame all my birthdays without exception for made me the person I am now:
Lonely, depressive, sarcastic, cynical and a little bit silly.

When I was young everyone told me that birthdays are a special day to spend with your friends and family celebrating that you are in this world. It has to be that way.

But why did I just born in summer vacations? all my friends were out of the town or the country.

I remember the last four or five birthay parties in other city without my parents and friends, I don´t remember more because my memory is selective and can´t remember crap. Because they only got one month of holydays and the plan is pass february in Arica, the city where my aunt and cousins live.

In my 16th birthday, january 26th 2017, I didn´t do anything, not because I couldn´t, but I didn´t know what to do. I do, neither go on shopping, or go out, I don´t have friends in a city that I visit two months per year.

That day we, my aunt, cousins and me, went to eat at a "x" restaurant, I pretended that I was super happy and all, In the night my parentrs called, my friends send me messages and I realized that I wanted a hug so bad.

A week later my parents came to stay during their holyday month as always. The same day my mom gave me my present for my birthday.

It was a book called "My life is a disaster".

Two seconds later I was crying. It was that kind of crying when the drops fall every millisecond. And she was asking me what´s the matter, and I was saying "is nothing I´m being too teenager".

What I mean is that the phrase "my life is a disaster" was way too dramatic, exaggerated and stupid to be considered what I felt in that moment.

And thinking that my problems are not even near to be important, specials, with a possibility of end up being the first chapter of a great story with me as the protagonist falling in love with X person in a very cheezy way!... I think that made me cry a lot.

My mom didn´t hug me, I didn´t asked her.

Because I was reading my birthday present and realizing that THANK GAGA I don´t have big problems!